


No Greater Love

by genderneutralnoun



Category: Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: Angst, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, I am a terrible person, Promises, Self-Hatred, Tearful reunion, implied suicidal thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-08
Updated: 2018-06-08
Packaged: 2019-05-19 21:39:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14881695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/genderneutralnoun/pseuds/genderneutralnoun
Summary: What happens after the worst has passed?Angsty one-shot. This is what I get when I don't pace my need to write these two and study their dynamics. Sorry, everyone.





	No Greater Love

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Omoni](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Omoni/gifts).



> In case you wanted to know, the title and some of the dialogue is based off a quote from Surpassing Danger, the last in a series of incredible, long-ass Harry Potter fanfics that (and I do not say these kinds of things lightly) literally changed my life for the better. If you wanna read 'em yourself, the first one is called Living with Danger, and I recommend reading the version on fanficauthors(dot)net. (It was pre-Ao3; a real relic, haha!) Oh, and I'll also put the quote in the ending author's note, for those of you who don't want to check it out. You seriously should, though. Just throwing that out there.

_ Lucina remembered it vividly. _

_ Robin had gasped as her sword struck Grima, the action clearly paining her just as it had the vessel. Now that  _ that _ one had disappeared, Robin was next, but she did it differently, her body almost glowing, the glint off of the few metal parts of her clothes almost blinding.  _

_ Lucina ran forward as soon as she realized what was going on, and she made it in time to catch the tactician as she lost her balance. “No, no, no,” she whispered, her voice shaky. “Robin, please don’t leave me…” _

_ “S… sorry,” Robin said, her breathing ragged. “I wish I could’ve… stayed…” _

_ “Don’t say that!” _

_ “Lucina, promise me something,” Robin said, her voice firm, even as it wavered. “Promise me… that you’ll wait. For… for however long it takes…” _

_ It felt like the last thing she wanted to do, but Lucina nodded. She wouldn’t break this promise. “Okay. Okay, Robin. I will…” _

_ “Thank you…” There was quiet for a beat, with the only the sound of the wind and Robin’s uneven, labored breathing. Then, “Lucina… I love you…” _

_ Lucina clutched Robin to her tightly as she felt her heart beat one last time, then go limp. She tried to stifle a sob, but couldn’t, sinking to her knees and rocking her lover’s lifeless form to herself as she whimpered, pain clawing at her insides like a monster trying to climb its way out of her. _

_ She looked up and met Chrom’s gaze, his face set in a pained expression. “It’s over,” she said, her voice thick. “She’s gone.” _

 

* * *

 

“Dying was easy.”

Three words, a simple statement, and it broke something that had been growing in the air. Lucina felt it as she met Robin’s gaze again; the tactician’s eyes hard but not cold.

“Dying was easy,” Robin repeated, rubbing one hand with the other absentmindedly, “because nothing came after it. Or nothing was supposed to, I guess. Or even because it meant- it  _ should _ have meant that you were finally finished. No more choices, no more struggle, no more days of having to get out of bed for no other reason your mind can come up with than the principle of it.” The last part struck a chord of familiarity within Lucina, and her eyes widened. Did she-?

Before she had the chance to finish that thought; or perhaps because she didn’t  _ want _ to finish that thought; Robin continued. “After, there were plenty of times I regretted it. Plenty of times that, with nothing other than myself, I worried over what I’d done to you; left you behind, in a sense.” She chuckled softly, but there is little humor in it. “I guess it says something that that’s the thing I regretted most.”

“When the- I don’t even know what to call it, but when it happened, it occurred to me that dying was  _ too _ easy. When you’re measured in the worth your mind associates to you, you realize that. Giving up your life is only a noble deed because of what it’s worth to you.”

Robin stepped closer, taking Lucina’s hands into her own in the slow, careful, deliberate way she always did, and the princess felt a bit of the hole in her begin to scab over.

“It was an easy choice because I didn’t care- what was thousands of future lives, inevitably lost, against mine? That was, until I thought of you.” Here Robin smiled, but not happily; it was the smile of someone who had no better-suited expression for whatever they were feeling. “I would have sacrificed the world for you, or, more selfishly, to be  _ with _ you- and I was almost going to do it, before I thought again.” Lucina gripped Robin’s hand a little more tightly as she felt the smaller girl’s facade waver. “I thought, ‘But what about her mission?’ I know what you went through, and how- I was certain that you would have done anything to prevent that from happening to anyone, ever again. I was- I thought, now that we- now that we were together like that, of course you wouldn’t want me to; but if we hadn’t, if  _ I _ hadn’t…”

“Oh, gods, Robin,” Lucina said faintly, instinctively moving close and wrapping her arms around Robin as she saw her eyes water a little. She let Robin rest her head on her chest, just like she used to; but there was something else as she buried her nose in the blonde’s hair, her lover’s soft, earthy scent not working to calm her like it usually did. Her throat tightened, and she felt her heartbeat in her ears; something about hearing what she had from Robin causing her to go tense with worry and shock. 

“I know, I was so silly,” the tactician replied, her voice a little thick from tears. “But that’s what it was. And I-” she sniffled and cleared her throat, then continued, “when it happened, I realized, it must have been so much harder for you. T-to  _ decide  _ to- to do what I asked you to, and… and wait, even though there was no guarantee that I’d be back, or that you’d ever know.”

“Robin…”

“Do you know what they say, Lucina?” Robin asked, her voice almost calm if it hadn’t been for her tears. “They say, ‘There is no greater love than to give up one’s life for a friend.’ Or lover, I suppose.” She took a deep breath, then looked up to meet Lucina’s gaze, and the taller girl absently brushed her white-blonde curls, some of them damp, out of her face. “But it’s not like that. It’s- it’s not courageous, or heroic, or inspiring or any of that to die. It’s depressing.” Robin laughed bitterly. “It’s awful, for everyone who cares about you, no matter the reason for it. You know what  _ is _ all of that and more? Living. Because not only can you do so much more when you’re alive, you bring so much more happiness just by  _ being _ alive. For the people you care about, who care about you.”

Lucina said nothing, just stroking Robin’s hair, unsure where all this was going. When Robin didn’t speak, she did instead. “And?” she prompted, her worry showing in her voice. “What are you saying?”

Robin was quiet for so long that Lucina feared she was refusing to answer, then let out a small sigh. “I don’t know,” she admitted, lowering her gaze. “I just- I don’t want to lose you, and I… I’m trying to process all of this, still, but you’re the clearest thing, if that makes any sense.” 

There was a beat, then Robin continued. “I think I’m apologizing,” she said softly. “For leaving you all alone.”

Something tightened in Lucina’s chest, and she held Robin to her more tightly. “Oh, Robin,” she whispered. “You don’t have to apologize. You did- you did what you thought you had to, and-”

“No, I do,” Robin interrupted, which was something she usually never did. “I- when I decided to, to share my life with someone, that meant I had no right to give it up like I did. Don’t argue,” she said sternly as Lucina stammered out a response. “I don’t- I don’t have the conviction to, and anyway the  _ why  _ of it doesn’t matter, only that- that you’re… you’re hurting, Lucina.” The princess felt another lance of emotion through her at that, and she buried her face in Robin’s hair again, desperate now for that reassuring scent. “You’re hurting because I left you, and nothing can excuse that.”

There were no words for a while, just the two of them, sniffling and trying to be as close as possible, simply for the need of touch, of being starved of that for so long. Then Lucina swallowed, and tried to speak again. “Robin-” She winced as her voice came out thick and hoarse, coughing briefly before clearing her throat and trying again. “Robin, I- I-I’ll accept your apology, if- if you promise that you stop thinking that.” Seized by a sudden burst of determination, she tilted Robin’s chin up, willing her to see the truth in her eyes. “Promise me, you… you won’t… punish yourself or anything, that you’ll stay with me and be happy. I know that’s- that’s selfish, but I can’t stand to see you hurting like this, either.”

Robin was quiet, then nodded. “I’ll try,” she said quietly.

Lucina breathed out a sigh of relief. “That’s enough,” she said, moving back into their hug, Robin with her head on her chest, Lucina with her nose in the smaller girl’s hair. “That’s enough.”

**Author's Note:**

> ...Yep.
> 
> Here's the quote:  
>  _"'There is no greater love,'" he quoted, his voice soft, almost abstracted, "'than to lay down one's life for a friend.'" A tiny, breathy laugh broke through the last word. "Or so we've been told. And by and large, I'd tend to agree. But even if there's nothing greater, there's one love that's just about equal to that one." He held out a hand to Harry, and after a long moment Harry took it. "And that's being the friend. Accepting that sacrifice, whether or not you think you're worth it. Knowing, without a shadow of a doubt, that you should have been the one taking the hit. Wishing, with all your heart, that you had been." He squeezed Harry's hand gently. "And going on with your life anyway. Because you know that's what they wanted you to do."_  
>  -copied directly from the fic. Obviously, I don't own it.
> 
> Well, that was a trip. You know, I actually quoted something else in there, too? Bonus points to anyone in the comments that can figure out what it is and where it's from specifically. Hint: It's from Avatar: The Last Airbender.  
> This was also kind of inspired by, well, stuff that's been going on in my life recently. I realized that it's actually pretty hard to have online friends; humans are social creatures, and need physical closeness to the people they care about. Of course, I wouldn't give my online friends up for the world, and I'll keep making online friends, but it's something that I thought about. ...It's really frustrating when a friend needs you help, but they're a million miles away and you can't explain to the people who are physically present why messaging on your phone is really important right now.  
> I suppose I should close with another quote; again from that series of fics I mentioned.  
> Thank you for reading! 
> 
> _"When you have enough for tonight, you have all you'll ever need."_


End file.
